What if you took your hands off the clock?

On timing in life and love

I used to believe timing didn’t matter when it came to relationships.

If the connection was strong enough—if the pull was undeniable—then, of course, you could figure things out. You’d fight for the relationship; you’d make it work. (Perhaps this resulted from all the romantic comedies I grew up watching. Anyone else have this belief system?)

But love and connection doesn’t operate on connection alone.

It operates on the right timing. And an element of that timing includes our readiness.

A few years ago, a friend of mine went on two dates with a man. She thought he was kind and interesting, but decided it didn’t feel quite right. She wasn’t ready for what he had to offer, which, in this case, was a committed, long-term partnership.

Six months later—after some soul searching (and completing a workbook called Calling in The One) —she reached back out to the same man, and they went out again. This time, something shifted. She felt ready for a relationship. The spark was lit, they started dating, got engaged within a year, and now are a family of 5. Her story is a testament to timing being both a mix of external circumstances as well as internal capacity.

The famous physicist Nassim Haramein discusses how the universe is a self-organizing system that follows a precise, intelligent flow. He suggests that what we see as delays, obstacles, or unexpected detours aren’t actually setbacks—they’re part of a bigger, more intentional flow. Things that don’t go our way aren’t necessarily roadblocks—they’re course-corrections, nudging us toward the right opportunities, people, and timing.

Just like planets follow precise orbits and nature moves in patterns, our lives might also be following a structure that keeps everything in balance. When we tune into that rhythm—whether through awareness, intuition, or simply trusting the process—we can move with life instead of fighting against it.

When it comes to personal goals and what we want to achieve, people we want to meet, and places we want to go, the physicist’s theory is a reminder that it doesn’t make sense to force ourselves to be ready or to push others to do the same. We can’t manipulate circumstances. Our chasing doesn’t necessarily lead to getting what we want. Ultimately, timing is not up to us.

Still, we so often want things to happen on our timeline.

We do it when it comes to falling in love, having our writing published, starting the dream job, having children– the list goes on. In truth, life doesn’t work like that.

This doesn’t mean we can’t manifest what we desire (I’ll write about what manifestation means to me, soon!). But we can’t force things into existence.

We must learn to take our hands off the clock. We cannot control timing —and that’s a good thing.

When something isn’t coming together in the timeframe we want, it’s valuable to take a step back and ask ourselves:

• What is this moment teaching me? (We’re so focused on what’s not happening that we miss everything that is.)

• What in my life actually feels like the right timing? (Where else should my energy be going right now?)

• Where has timing worked out for me even better than I expected before? (Because if it happened then, it can happen again.)What is this moment teaching me?

If we’re not getting the job we’re dreaming of, conceiving a child in the timeframe we want, hearing back from the book publisher – maybe it’s just not the right time. If we’re chasing relationships that aren’t landing, maybe there’s an invisible hand of timing at play.

In the spring of 2023, my partner and I were both living in Lisbon, unknowingly crossing paths at the same events and even having mutual friends. One night, he even spoke to the friend I had arrived with at a party.

But he and I didn’t meet in the spring of 2023; we don’t even remember seeing one another at events.

Looking back, we’re able to connect the dots and see that he was still in his Lisbon Peter Pan phase, and I was entangled in a connection not meant for me.

Ten months later, our paths crossed again. This time, we were both ready.

I have many examples of timing, like this one. There have been instances when I set my sights on a job, put it out into the universe, and... nothing. But then, 11 months later, that exact opportunity arrived in my inbox.

The same thing has happened with the places I wanted to live, people I hoped to meet, business partners I connected with, and trips I dreamed of taking. Everything had its own timing, even when I didn’t understand it right away.

While we may not control the exact timing of our lives, we are not powerless.

If we can focus on growth, learning, and creating internal space for what we’re awaiting, we’ll naturally align with the right opportunities in time.

And when we get a bit impatient that things not moving fast enough or on our time clock, we can take a moment to reflect and understand how we can make the most of where we are today.

At some point during my seven years of being single, I wrestled with the thought: Will I ever meet someone? Will I fall in love? Will I be single forever? If I was the director of my life, it would have happened sooner.

At first, I was incredibly impatient, and wanted to be in a significant relationship. And then, I learned to enjoy my own company. I started traveling on my own and finding joy in my freedom. I found peace in my life as it was—beautiful, inspiring, filled with love and friendships and unique experiences. Whenever the timing questions crept in, I asked myself:

How would I act if I knew I’d fall in love at some point in the future?

The answer was always:

I’d savor the present moment. I’d appreciate all that was and all the beautiful blessings and lessons life was giving me. I’d enjoy being single. And I’d also get ready for whatever else was coming, instead of questioning why it wasn’t here yet.

And this type of mindset applies to everything.

We can’t control the timing of life. But we can enjoy where we are today, and make sure we’re ready, when the thing we want comes knocking on our door.

Last year, these trees were already blooming in Lisbon. This year, they’re on their own timeline. It’s a reminder that we can’t force the timing of things - including nature.