The hidden cost of self-limiting beliefs

And how to un-limit yourself

“What would you do without your self-limiting beliefs?”

This question came up during a card game with a friend, and it stuck with me.

I’m guilty of letting fear and self-doubt stop me from going after what I really want.

We often hold ourselves back from living fully joyful, abundant lives. Many of us have an internal barometer for how much we allow ourselves to receive or experience. Whether it’s pleasure, love, wealth, or success, many of us unconsciously set internal limits on what we think we deserve – or what we believe is possible. These beliefs shape both the big and small things in our lives, often more than we realize. Ultimately, our limiting beliefs interfere with opening up to the possibility of it all.

Our self-limiting beliefs are often based on past experiences, feelings of unworthiness, or an effort to protect ourselves from the fear of disappointment. Other times, they’re due to learned self-doubt. Sometimes, these blocks exist because we don’t realize what’s truly possible.

Take, for example, someone who never witnessed a healthy relationship growing up. They might unknowingly put a ceiling on the type of love they allow themselves to experience, settling for a mediocre relationship, because they believe that’s all they can experience. Or consider someone raised in a household where money was always an issue—they might think earning large sums of money is out of reach, despite being on a promising career trajectory. In other cases, people are taught to accept the status quo, believing that wanting more in life is selfish or unnecessary, because others have less than they do. They’ve convinced themselves that appreciating what they already have means they shouldn’t aspire for anything more.

The internal barriers we’ve created can hold us back from experiencing life fully and sharing the light that comes from living in our power. It also limits the experiences of joy, love, beauty and the general variety of experiences we can tap into and create for ourselves.

As a five-year-old girl, my family asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I quickly, proudly responded – “President!”

I think about how limitless that little girl was (a little naïve, sure!) But she dreamt big; she was a blank canvas for whatever her heart desired before her self-limiting beliefs permeated her mindset.

Our brains will always want to keep us in the status quo (it’s what’s most comfortable for them). It’s up to us to notice and work on rewiring our self-limiting thoughts.

In order to move beyond our limited belief system, we must first understand the self-imposed limits we’ve established. We can then internally inquire to understand where they’re coming from and learn to rewire the thinking. This is the only way to break our glass ceilings and shift our internal paradigms.

We can dig deeper and ask ourselves questions such as:

• Am I limiting myself due to fear? Where is the fear coming from?

• Do I believe I’m undeserving of the thing I want? Why?

• Do I have a lack of belief in myself and what’s possible?

• Where do I have a cap on the amount of joy, love, or pleasure I allow myself? How come?

• How much good can I receive, before I start to feel uncomfortable?

• Can I raise the standard for what I believe is possible for me?

We must be willing to let go of our old thought patterns, to let our new experiences enter in. We must take the time to re-frame what’s possible for us. This way, we can allow our bodies to calibrate to higher frequencies, instead of putting a parking brake on how far we’re able to go.

And when we need an additional, gentle push, we can look to Amplifiers – people who are doing what we wish to achieve, moving beyond our preconceived notions, to get inspired and dream beyond our limitations. Watching others who have achieved the lives we envision can serve as a powerful reminder of what’s possible.

Instead of feeding my self-limitations, I’m practicing embodying expansiveness. I’m writing down where I have proof of things working out beyond my perceived limitations in the past. I’m also finding examples of other people who have gone and done the things that I’m hoping to create – seeing that there is a possibility beyond what my limited experiences make me believe.

Self-limiting beliefs don’t have to define us. By identifying them and giving ourselves permission to dream beyond them, we can unlock meaningful growth and change.

Where have you limited yourself? What could your life become if you dared to lift those self-imposed limits?