A Case for Amplifiers

Sometimes we need to see it to believe it

We all need people who broaden our sense of what’s possible, otherwise we’ll simply be replaying the things we’ve seen in our own lives. These individuals are Amplifiers – anyone who creates more expansive perspectives, broadening our idea of what we initially thought was true.

Amplifiers manifest as catalysts in our relationships, guides in our professional journeys, motivators for fitness objectives, and enablers of bucket list pursuits. They serve as living proof that what has been attained by one person (given the right timing and conditions) is also within our grasp.

For a long time, people thought running a mile under 4 minutes was beyond human capability. In 1954, a British runner, Roger Bannister, proved everyone wrong by running a mile in 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds. His achievement proved that barriers are often in our minds and what we believe to be possible. These mental barriers are often influenced by society's norms, our own experiences, as well as our cultural views. They shape how we see our own potential and understand the world we live in.

More importantly, however, Roger Bannister’s milestone reminds us that when we see someone else shatter a once-impossible goal, it expands our view of what we can achieve, too. It’s important that we see examples of alternate possibilities in the tangible world. This way, we can stretch our goals and unlock opportunities to realize our highest potential.

If we surround ourselves with Amplifiers, we can expand the limits we’ve created within our brains. These Amplifies can broaden our sense of connection, shows us how we might act towards our parents, expand how we perceive female friendship, or broaden our sense of what we can achieve.

Christo and Jeanne-Claude were amplifiers in the art space, challenging traditional notions of art and demonstrating the possibilities of creativity, imagination, and collaboration. Photo by me, on film, October 2021.

I’m lucky to have built a community of people that’s inspiring, continuously showing me that we can keep reaching further, amplify our sense of what we thought was possible, and live life more fully and beautifully as a result.

Growing up, I was surrounded by Type A, traditionally masculine men. My father and grandfathers worked hard, played sports, provided for their families, and could fix anything. These men moved forward in the world with logic and strength, untroubled by emotions or empathy. For many years, I was attracted to this type of man – the one who was incredibly ambitious, put work first and hobbies second, and had a distant vista of a relationship goal. I engaged in this type of relationship because it was what I was used to; it was what masculinity meant to me. After all, our brains and childhoods dictate a lot of who we are attracted to.

Since moving to Lisbon at the start of the year, I’ve been exposed to a completely different type of man who is expanding my idea of what’s possible in a partner – and what masculinity can mean beyond my initial constructs.

I recently met someone who initially reminded me a lot of my dad. He has the same spontaneity and sense of adventure, was able to fix (not just change!) a tire when it went flat, and is very rational and analytical in his thinking, likely a byproduct of his engineering background. He is also ambitious, a big dreamer, and has charming confidence.

Beyond the traditionally masculine qualities he possesses, he is also self-aware, a great communicator, and has high emotional intelligence, showcasing his feelings and deeply empathizing with others. (He’s also really funny, a great dancer, and livens up any space he enters.)

He’s been expanding my perception of the dynamic elements that are possible to find in a man; He’s shown me what I can encounter if I open myself up to more types of connections and experiences.

Amplifiers can also be celebrities or people within one or two degrees of separation. From a career standpoint, Julia Child has been a career amplifier for me. She’s helped move me beyond the limiting belief that time is running out and that I should have achieved career success before age 35.

She began her culinary career in her late 30s, published her groundbreaking cookbook at 49, and premiered her show in her 50s. There are many other iconic artists and entrepreneurs who only began their careers at a later life stage, such as Vera Wang, Samuel L Jackson, and Frank Lloyd Wright.

Whether it’s a career Amplifier reminding me that I don’t have to have everything figured out work-wise at this very moment or a romantic Amplifier showing me a different type of connection, expanding my perspectives and seeing vast possibilities has been invaluable for me. Sometimes, I need to see it, to believe it.

Do you have individuals around you that broaden your sense of what’s possible, that expand your way of thinking? If they’re not in your immediate circle, can you find celebrities or TV personalities who have achieved what you’re looking for? Sometimes we just need a bit of light to guide us and show us what’s possible.